Beyond Business Cards: Authentic Networking for New Law Firm Partners

In this episode, Michelle Calcote King sits down with Megan Senese, co-founder and principal at stage, a woman-owned legal marketing and business development consultancy, to discuss how newly minted partners can develop authentic networking approaches that generate business.

Through her own journey from “networking-phobic” marketing professional to successful business developer, Megan demonstrates how connecting with people one-on-one transformed her career and led to connecting with 1,000 people in her first year of business. She identifies the two common mistakes lawyers make in business development: either being too transactional or building friendly relationships without ever asking for work. She shares practical techniques for initiating meaningful conversations, gracefully exiting interactions and creating effective virtual networking opportunities when in-person conferences aren’t feasible.

Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn

• Why finding your authentic networking style matters more than following prescribed business development formulas.
• The two common mistakes lawyers make in business development and how to avoid them.
• Practical conversation starters that bypass superficial small talk, including the “high-low buffalo” technique.
• Strategies for gracefully exiting conversations while maintaining professional relationships.
• How to create effective virtual networking opportunities when in-person conferences aren’t feasible.
• The importance of being proactive in developing your own networking initiatives.
• How authenticity in professional communications can strengthen your network and visibility.

About our featured guest

Megan Senese is a seasoned legal marketing and business development professional with more than 16 years of experience in Big Law and the Big Four. She co-founded stage, a women-owned firm dedicated to helping lawyers and law firms enhance their client relationships, revenue and market visibility.

Megan earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in corporate communications from Manhattan College, graduating magna cum laude. She began her career as a marketing intern at a law firm during college, which sparked her passion for legal marketing. Over the years, she has implemented client teams and launched industry programs at three different Am Law 100 firms.

Known for her efficiency and problem-solving abilities, Megan is often referred to as “Super Speedy Senese.” She is a certified Smart Collaborator and an accredited partner authorized to administer the Gardner & Co. Smart Collaboration Accelerator™, enabling her to assist teams and individuals in enhancing their collaboration and communication skills.

Megan is a prolific writer and speaker. She has authored articles for Bloomberg Law and Law360, covering topics such as lateral partner integration and business development strategies. Additionally, she has been featured in various podcasts and speaking engagements, sharing her insights on authentic marketing and the power of collaboration in the legal industry.

Megan resides on Long Island with her family and their dog, balancing her professional commitments with family life while sharing her insights on managing both.

Resources mentioned in this episode

• Check out stage 
• Follow stage on LinkedIn and Instagram
• Connect with Megan Senese on LinkedIn
• Say hello to Michelle Calcote King on LinkedIn

Sponsor for this episode

This episode is brought to you by Reputation Ink.

Founded by Michelle Calcote King, Reputation Ink is a marketing and public relations agency that serves B2B professional services firms of all shapes and sizes across the United States, including corporate law firms and architecture, engineering and construction (AEC) firms. 

Reputation Ink understands how sophisticated corporate buyers find and select professional services firms. For more than a decade, they have helped firms grow through thought leadership-fueled strategies, including public relations, content marketing, video marketing, social media, podcasting, marketing strategy services, creative services and more.

To learn more, visit www.rep-ink.com or email them at [email protected] today.

Transcript

Disclaimer: What you’re reading is an AI-transcribed version of our podcast. It may contain mistakes, including spelling and grammar errors.

[00:00:00] Megan Senese: I really believe in finding a network style that works for you and not what your firm is telling you to do.

[00:00:10] Announcer: Welcome to Spill the Ink, a podcast by Reputation Ink, where we feature experts in growth and brand visibility for law firms and architecture, engineering and construction firms. Now, let’s get started with the show.

[00:00:27] Michelle Calcote King: Hi, everyone. I’m Michelle Calcote King. I’m your host. I’m the principal and president of Reputation Ink. We’re a public relations and thought leadership marketing agency for B2B professional services firms, including law firms. To learn more, go to rep-ink.com. 

So today we’re going to talk about the transition to partner at a law firm. It’s very much a professional crucible. So newly minted partners, they’re abruptly expected to take on new business responsibilities, often without the training or guidance to do it effectively. And the industry’s relentless billing culture only amplifies the pressure. Megan Senese is with us today to help rising professionals feel more comfortable with practical tips for networking, common pitfalls to avoid and alternative strategies beyond attending in-person events. Megan is co-founder and principal at stage, a woman-owned legal marketing and business development consultancy. So welcome to the show, Megan.

[00:01:28] Megan Senese: Hi. Thank you for having me.

[00:01:31] Michelle Calcote King: I’m so excited to have you here. So I did a brief intro, but I’d love for you to tell us a little bit about your background and about your firm and what you do to help lawyers.

[00:01:41] Megan Senese: Yes, thank you so much. So we stage, we are a relatively new business. I guess I can still say that. We’re about two years old.

And before that I was doing legal marketing and business development for big law. I started with actually big four accounting, and then I jumped around to a couple different firms, picking up the tricks and skills that every legal marketer needs to have and then at some point, my partner and I, we did work together for quite a long time at our in-house firm, and when I say in-house, I mean at big law, not as a lawyer, and when we decided to take the jump and launch our own thing, and we’ve been doing it for two years and we focus on lawyers and legal marketers. We do some coaching for legal marketers as well, and also fractional services for law firms. And what’s been really interesting is that we have some big law clients and then solo boutique, so solo law firm owners as well. So just seeing the span has been really fun. But the issues are exactly the same, right? Like it doesn’t matter if you’re a solo or a partner who’s trying to build their book in big law, the issues are exactly the same.

And so that part has been kind of eye-opening to see it from in-house and now what I like to say, outhouse. You’ve seen both sides. That’s hilarious.

[00:03:15] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. Well, let’s talk about those issues. So let’s talk about networking specifically in the legal industry. What are some of those key themes that you see coming up over and over again?

[00:03:28] Megan Senese: Yes. So I think there’s a lot of things to be said about networking. For me, what I tell people, and it’s a very lawyerly response, which is when they’re asking me, what’s your favorite way to network, or what’s the number one thing that I should do when I’m networking?

And my response to that is it depends. And so I really believe in finding a network style that works for you and not what your firm is telling you to do. I mean, you might have to play that game a little bit, but what is a style that works for you? I historically hated networking because of the places that I was thought I had to show up in.

And I often tell my story about networking so that people can resonate with it, and then learn about how I kind of went through and changed different things and then now I’m giving those kinds of tips and tricks to the lawyers. And the way that I started networking was, I think I went to a first timers probably legal marketing conference. And my boss said, you cannot come back until you’ve gotten five business cards. And I was terrified, right? And so I’m okay, I’m going to do this. So I know I’m a big girl. I can do this. I’m very outgoing.

And I have to say, walking into this conference room, everybody was in these like tight circles with their backs facing out. Everyone felt like they all knew each other. And I was like, excuse me, hey, can I be your friend? And I did not get any business cards. I didn’t even talk to anyone. I think I maybe made it like 45 minutes an hour. And then I was like, I’m done. And I left. And I remember thinking that was such a, I had failed that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. And then compounding with being in a law firm where I’m hearing these stories from rainmaking partners that like, I went to one conference and I got a million dollar deal. I’m like, what is wrong with me? And so I just kind of kept it to myself. I never really told anybody that I didn’t want to network, that I was bad at networking.

And that was the message then that I told myself that I was bad at networking. That’s the message that a lot of lawyers tell themselves as well. I’m bad at networking. I don’t know how to network, therefore I’m bad at it. And so when we launched our business, I was terrified that once I became a vendor, no one would want to talk to me.

So I started just doing individual outreaches. Hey, really like what you wrote, particularly on LinkedIn, let’s connect. And so in our first year of business, I met with a thousand people. And I’m not saying this like figuratively, I’m saying this literally I met with a thousand people virtually and one to one, to one, to one to one. And then I realized, oh actually I am very good at networking. I just don’t like going into big conferences.

[00:06:26] Michelle Calcote King: A thousand is really intense. Actually I was just doing that math in my head. That’s impressive.

[00:06:33] Megan Senese: Yeah. It was like four or five people like every single day from the entire time we launched.

Yeah. Or whatever works out too. But I have now decreased that. I can’t keep up that pace, but I figured out what worked for me and that is smaller one-to-one with a connection and in a lot of ways just offering to help and connect people. And so then I started to write about that on LinkedIn and saying, you’re not bad at networking.

I’m not bad at networking. You’re not bad at networking. Here’s ways that you can do that. And that kind of took off and a lot of now I’ve been presenting on networking, which is hilarious to me. And so a lot of times now in this new life, what I have created for myself is I will create virtual networking plans for lawyers.

And then they can, we can figure out if they decide that they do want to go to a big conference. What is their plan? How do you, what is the plan of attack? Not just, you’re going to go to the conference and you’re going to find five random people’s business cards, and then like, and then what?

[00:07:38] Michelle Calcote King: Right.

[00:07:39] Megan Senese: So it’s a lot more methodical, but also finding an approach that works for you. And the size too.

[00:07:47] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. I love that. Because I am that classic person that makes those comments. I hate, I’m not good at networking. How do I go to those conferences?

And I found through this podcast, a way to network. I actually wrote an article about it because I told everyone when I started doing it. This is the way for me to network. It’s a way for me to have one-on-one conversations with people and the safety of my own office.

And to have a predetermined topic. And to have this, it was just this ideal way to network and to not have this. And because I also feel allergic to conversations that don’t have a goal or substance to them. So I finally found my networking mojo, I felt like, through the podcast, and it became this way for me to just make connections. So I love that you talk about that. Why do you think there’s this perception for attorneys in particular? Is there something that is just set up in the legal industry that is kind of out there for attorneys where they’re told that networking looks like a certain thing. Is it that myth of the rainmaker?

[00:09:16] Megan Senese: I think there’s a couple of things that apply. I think when your entire life is in six minute intervals, everything becomes very contentious and urgent real fast.

So if you’re going to a networking event, you better make it worthwhile, right? If you’re going to a networking event, you better make it, you better get something out of it. And so if you are approaching a conversation where you were expecting some kind of concrete outcome every single time that you walk into a room, you’re going to be disappointed and then you’re also going to show up, I think personally, not as your best self, as like a more aggressive, like, I need to go and be lying to Michelle and make sure I get on her podcast, versus let’s just talk to each other and let me learn about you and be a little more curious and slow it down. Which I also have a hard time of doing slowing down and I think there’s this expectation that you must come back with something.

And that doesn’t leave space for like openness or humor or anything. And so that makes it tricky once I stop being like, well, I think it’s, again, coming back to the start of our business, I’m like, I have nothing to lose because I literally have nothing. I have no clients because we just started, I have nothing to lose here. So let me just start asking people about themselves. Let me start asking questions and the more I did that, the easier it became.

[00:10:47] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. I love that. So that’s obviously a core mistake attorneys are making is going out and trying to get something immediately out of it.

Do you see other mistakes, common or common mistakes attorneys are making when they’re doing their initial business development? They’ve been made partner, they know they now need to go out there and do this. What are some of the things that you’re seeing that they’re kind of doing not so great?

[00:11:18] Megan Senese: Yeah, I mean, on the flip side, I have quite a few lawyers who are very friendly, have lots of contacts, and then they never ask for the business.

[00:11:28] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah.

[00:11:28] Megan Senese: And so it’s on the complete opposite side, like great relationships, but they have to remind that contact that they’re actually trying to get some work and they don’t know how to how to switch. So there’s almost like these two tracks happening. There’s people who never invest in the relationship and they’re all transactional. Like, I’m here to get something. You asked me for work, I gave you the work period.

[00:11:53] Michelle Calcote King: Mm-hmm.

[00:11:54] Megan Senese: And then there’s the other side where people are like, we’re really great friends and I’m giving them restaurant recommendations all the time. It’s gone on for 10 years. I’ve never asked them for work. And, and so and like, now what do I do? And so you need to match the, like there has to be a mesh between the two of them and people get really nervous to make the ask. And it doesn’t have to be, Michelle, can you give me work? It can be what are you working on right now?

[00:12:23] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah.

[00:12:23] Megan Senese: Like, what are you struggling with, how can I help you? How can I support you? And it’s coming up with a list of questions that feels comfortable for you to ask.

[00:12:33] Michelle Calcote King: Mm-hmm.

[00:12:33] Megan Senese: Particularly if it’s a friend. Even better. Right? And we do that with our coaching sessions. We come up with what that list of questions might be for that particular person, and then we can turn them out together.

We come up with a list of open-ended questions to bring to conferences. My favorite one that everybody, every lawyer can use, particularly if you’re going to a lawyer conference is to ask people like, oh and like, what do you do? Oh my God, you’re a lawyer too. No, no way. Right. And it’s silly and people get a kick out of it and you can use it all the time.

[00:13:08] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. I love that. Well, so are there other ways to initiate those meaningful conversations? Because I am so allergic to small talk. It’s the absolute worst. So I feel like I oscillate between small talk and inappropriate deep questions. So you’re kind of going between and there’s gotta be that sort of middle ground of a way to have those I really want to get to know you as a person and a professional, and have that substantive, meaningful conversation, but not sit here and talk about the weather and have a circular, I’m doing fine. How are you doing? Fine. Oh, busy, busy. You know, that kind of thing. So how do you do that?

[00:14:05] Megan Senese: So if you’re talking about it on a one-to-one, there’s a couple of ways. I’m also surprised to hear you say this because I think you and I got along very well, very quickly. But we might have went right into the deep conversations perhaps.

[00:14:18] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. We had the deep conversation right off the bat. Yeah.

[00:14:21] Megan Senese: So that also might be knowing your audience, right? Yes. I’m pretty public and what I post and what I think and what I feel on LinkedIn which makes it very easy for people to approach me. So I’ll sidestep and tell a story. So I was presenting at a regional northeast marketing conference. And again, I was like, I don’t know what this is going to be like but I was presenting, so I had a focus. And I have to tell you though, when I was walking the halls of, there was a smaller field conference, people were like, met Megan, Megan, Megan Senese from LinkedIn. And I was like, yes. And they’re like, I read all your stuff. And so people kept stopping me because of how much I posted on LinkedIn and because I had put myself very publicly out there. People approached me with topics that they knew I would connect with because of what I’ve written. And so that makes it very, that made it great for me. Right? And people felt comfortable to say, hey, I have kids too, or a dog too, or whatever.

Like there was already a commonality and people felt like they knew me and they could easily approach me. So that felt great. And that’s a benefit of writing things on LinkedIn. The other thing that I was going to say is like knowing your audience, right? So you and I, you knew, I think that you could get into the deep conversations with me. That might not apply to every single person. So you could try different kinds of deepening relationship conversations like, oh, how are you? Where people are like, I’m even, I have a hard time with that. I’m like, I’m fine. I’m good. My day was good.

[00:16:01] Michelle Calcote King: Mm-hmm.

[00:16:03] Megan Senese: I’ve been trying to ask more, like, on a scale of one to 10, how is your day going? 10 is like, I won the lotto, and one is like, please don’t talk to me. So that’s been kind of helpful. I learned this trick from another podcast, the Diary of a CEO and if you haven’t listened to this,

[00:16:24] Michelle Calcote King: Love that. Yeah.

[00:16:24] Megan Senese: Oh yeah. Yeah. So they had a communications expert on, and they were talking about like, why are we human, so weird and awkward. One of them was just like giving this tip of what they call high low buffalo, and it is basically just like what’s, you go up to someone and say like, hey, I’m like really allergic to small talk. I’d love to try like high, low buffalo with you. Like, are you game, do you want to do it with me? And I think for the most part, people will be like, okay, what is that? And so you say one high thing, like high about your day, one low, and then like, buffalo is like something random. So we could do it right now if you want to. Do you want to try? Let’s do it. Do you want to do it first or do you want me to go first? You go first. Let’s do it. Okay. Yeah. All right. So my high would be I that I went to a new workout class this morning before I got on the podcast.

My low is that it’s kind of gross and yucky and raining and I was hoping to like be able to take my dog for a walk and my buffalo is. This will be what I, I’ll use this one a lot, but Buffalo is, when I was 18, I went skydiving on my birthday.

[00:17:39] Michelle Calcote King: Oh I love that. That’s so good. Yeah. That’s a great mechanism.

Okay, so my high is that I had nine hours of sleep last night, and it felt glorious. My low is that I still have a little bit of a cough lingering from a cold I got from the Legal Marketing Association conference. I’m not blaming, but and my random is that I went skydiving last year.

Oh my gosh. See, there you go. So yeah, it was fun. I did it for Father’s Day. I did it with my dad because I wanted to do something fun with my dad.

[00:18:13] Megan Senese: Oh my gosh. You and your dad went, that’s amazing. Yeah, we did. It was great. So the benefit of this is that instead of saying, how are you now you have three things that you could pick up on, right? So like we could talk about do you not normally get nine hours of sleep? The second thing could be, how was the LMA conference? And like, who did, let’s find like, let’s find out who the cougher was that coughed on you.

[00:18:38] Michelle Calcote King: Yes.

[00:18:39] Megan Senese: And then the last is like, we would’ve probably never found out that like you and I went skydiving.

[00:18:45] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. I love that.

[00:18:45] Megan Senese: So you are giving three different things to connect with you do have to be a little secure in offering up your three things. But hopefully, you know, you can get to a place where you feel comfortable kind of offering that up. So it’s really about coming up with some different kinds of questions. I mean, I always like to talk about food when I’m at a conference where I’m like, so I saw really good cupcakes, or I saw a really good snack. Food’s always a winner. And then you could go and talk about it.

[00:19:16] Michelle Calcote King: How do you exit conversations? So while we want to have those meaningful conversations. We also want to make sure we network and get around the room and talk to a variety of people. So how do you kind of sort of gracefully make your way out of, once you’re having a fantastic conversation with someone, how do you sort of make that exit?

[00:19:41] Megan Senese: You could say something like, Michelle, it was really great talking with you. I am going to go get a snack from over there. And then you just leave. I mean, it doesn’t always have to be super complicated. You could say hey, I’m actually going to excuse myself and go to the ladies room if you feel comfortable saying that I only have five minutes before the next conference session.

I’m going to head over, let’s exchange contact information so we can stay in touch. Or Oh, I see someone over there that I’ve been meaning to catch up to. Like, so there’s a lot of almost like excuses, but in a polite, so it’s, it was lovely to talk to you even if it wasn’t, I guess. And then fill in a reason as to why you’re leaving them now. If they’re a jerk, you can just leave. I don’t think you have to be graceful if someone’s being a complete jerk. You could just be like, I don’t enjoy this conversation anymore and I’m leaving, period. Like, that’s it.

[00:20:39] Michelle Calcote King: I always just say I’m going to keep networking. And I’ve wondered if that’s but I always just feel like it’s sort of, I hope that people realize, you know, we’re all here to do this. And I always say, it’s been great chatting. I’m going to keep, I’m going to keep networking. I’m going to keep moving through the room, you know?

[00:20:58] Megan Senese: I had this one practice group leader who was just very graceful at networking. And it was like this person was like a cloud kind of floating around. And he would just say it was really great talking to you, I’m going to make my rounds now.

But he would also do it with a smile and there’s things you can do with your body as well, right? Like you could also start and at, for people who are listening, you could start to kind of tilt away from the person. Not in a distracted way or that you’re trying to run away, but just in that, now we’re going to move the conversation maybe out into the room.

[00:21:35] Michelle Calcote King: Mm-hmm.

[00:21:35] Megan Senese: And then that will give you more space from the person as well. So like, even as I’m doing this, I can feel like, okay, bye.

[00:21:43] Michelle Calcote King: Yeah. And so the other thing is conferences are back. We’re doing the in-person thing again, but there’s still people that that is difficult. You can spend a lot of money. It’s still a lot of time. People, especially working parents. That’s difficult. Tell me about what are some things that people who maybe can’t spend $5,000 in a full week on a conference? What are some ways people can do the virtual networking still effectively?

[00:22:16] Megan Senese: Yeah, so I didn’t go to the annual conference this year. I’m a new business and I’m trying to really, this is where like cost becomes. I trying to evaluate every single cost, right? And so I totally understand this, and you’ll see this too with the law firms. They’re like, can we send every single person for $5,000?

No. You have to pick and choose what’s going to be worthwhile. So I was feeling a little left out of not going to the annual conference. So I posted, I’m a big fan of LinkedIn, so I posted on LinkedIn, is anyone else feeling left out? And then someone said, well, we should just do like a virtual, like fomo marketing conference, people aren’t going. And so I did. So I posted, you know, who’s not coming, who’s not going to the conference. And a lot of people said that they weren’t, that they would be interested in doing a virtual networking, which historically sounds like something you want to stick a fork in your eyeball. But I have been trying to make them a little bit more exciting and I had like 40 people get on this. Like, we aren’t going to the conference. We are feeling left out. And essentially people got on and I just asked everyone to share one thing that they had learned like that week and everybody kind of went around from a legal marketing perspective and shared one thing.

It was mostly about AI, everyone had learned some new AI tool, trick tip, whatever. And those have been pretty successful. I’ve done that for my lawyers as well. I’ve had general counsel and women lawyers all get together and talk about how we can support each other. And so, and it’s free and except for your time, and they’ve turned out really well. So I think if you create it, I guess is my point here. Like you don’t have to wait around. You don’t have to wait around for your firm to invest in you. You don’t have to find the funds. There’s a lot of things you can do for free other than a time investment, if you’re interested, right?

If you’re interested and you’re dedicated and you want to do it. And so I’ve done that virtually, and I would’ve never met all those 40 people had I done one to one, to one, to one to one.

[00:24:29] Michelle Calcote King: And it sounds, I mean, a lot of what you do is just put yourself out there authentically, which is certainly what drew me to you. And be clear on your values and who you are. And I know that sounds so a little bit simplistic,

[00:24:46] Megan Senese: Yeah.

[00:24:47] Michelle Calcote King: but for people who, especially lawyers in the way they’re trained, that it can be quite difficult and challenging.

[00:24:55] Megan Senese: Yeah. I think what’s hard to see is that if you were to go on my LinkedIn now two and a half, maybe more like three years later from when I started, it’s a very different profile. So now in this new life, I work for myself, I don’t answer to anyone except for myself. It’s a lot easier. Right. I think I don’t, I pick and choose my clients.

The clients are aligned with what I’m saying. But when I first started, at least on LinkedIn, it was like a one sentence and a repost. And so I went from that and 500 connections two and a half years ago to now I’ve got 20,000 followers. I mean, followers don’t equal dollars, but talking about very real things like working, being a working parent and how I had to hide my pregnancies and grief, there’s a lot of topics that I go through.

But I did not start out that way. So don’t see someone’s kind of like further along journey and compare it, that’s not fair to yourself.

[00:26:04] Michelle Calcote King: Right. Yeah. Understood. Well, I would love to ask you if there’s one final thing. This has been a phenomenal conversation, but if there’s one final thing you’d love to leave our listeners with on this topic, what would it be?

[00:26:20] Megan Senese: This is where I’m like, be yourself. Find a way that works for you. Find a way that works for you and that might take a couple of iterations until you figure that out for yourself and be graceful with yourself and have some grace.

[00:26:36] Michelle Calcote King: Well, thank you so much. So we’ve been talking to Megan Senese of stage and thank you for your time.

[00:26:41] Megan Senese: Thanks for having me.

[00:26:46] Announcer: Thanks for listening to Spill The Ink, a podcast by Reputation Ink. We’ll see you again next time and be sure to click subscribe to get future episodes.